Thursday, March 31, 2011

Broken by the Toaster

Toaster



Breakfast and Epiphany

OK, so the toaster didn't break me. But it did remind me of my brokenness.

Home sick with a cold, I was berating myself for being away from work at a pivotal time. We'd just moved back into our new offices after a complete remodel; I'd played a key role in this challenging, important task. On Thursday, the day before we moved, I awoke with a horrific sore throat. Staying home on that day, or the next, was out of the question. By Monday I felt worse. I went in to work for an hour in the morning to address any critical problems, then returned home, frustrated that I couldn't  remain at the office to continue chasing down the endless details that still required my attention.

I felt like I'd run a marathon and tripped fifty yards from the finish line.

The next morning, still sick, I wandered out to the kitchen, pulled out the toaster, and popped in two slices of whole-wheat bread. While it toasted, I refilled my coffee cup and fetched a knife, a napkin, a plate, and the butter.

When the toast popped up, annoyance flared within me, singeing my heart. The toast was too light! Someone in the household had reset the dial controlling the slots on the right side of the toaster to "5." I always left the slots at the right set to "6." The slots on the left were already set to "5." I liked "6" toast; Rich and Ryan preferred "5" toast. Was it so hard to simply use the slots on the left instead of changing the settings? Or to have the basic courtesy to leave the toaster as one found it?

Buttering my toast calmed me. "Oh, well," I thought, "Give some grace."

I all but felt a tap on my shoulder as the next thought formed in my mind: "Give some grace? Maybe better to ask for some?"

"But I'm sick. I'm exhausted. It makes me cranky."

"Oh really."

That's when I realized how unsurrendered my heart remains. Between the mini mental meltdown over toast and the excuse-making for my poor behavior, I was not reflecting His light that morning. Nobody heard my rant, but I ranted inside all the same.

God, I really do want You to reign in my singed, puny heart. I surrender to You. Again.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalm 139:23-24 (NASB)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Static!

Dad's Zenith
Tuning Through Troubles
I enjoy listening to broadcast radio when I drive: listening to a CD, I always know what song is next. On the radio, every song is a surprise. Living in a canyon, however, FM radio reception is dicey near our home. Every evening, I switch from my preferred FM station to an AM news station as I descend the grade into the canyon. When I leave in the morning, I listen to the news until I've climbed the hill leading into town, then switch over to the FM channel.

One night not long ago, I returned from an evening meeting, driving through sheetlike rain and gusting winds. As I dropped into the canyon, music gave way to static. But the road conditions were challenging; I did not want to take a hand off the wheel even for an instant. So I gritted my teeth and drove home through the rain, static blaring forth from my truck's speakers. The racket made me miserable.

Then as I turned off the main road through our canyon onto the side street that would lead me home, I heard music again. "Hmm," I thought. "Four years in this house and I never knew that when I get close enough to home, the reception comes back." I happily hummed along for the final few minutes of my drive.

I've been thinking about static, and music, and troubles. I don't like static. It irritates me to hear it. So I turn off the radio or tune to another station that comes in clearly, even if it isn't what I most want to hear. I learned the other night that if I can tolerate the irritation for a while, the music returns, as sweet as it was before--but perhaps better appreciated after an interlude of static.   

Troubles work the same way. I can "turn off the radio" by disengaging from a challenging situation. I can tune in to something else, something trivial and easy, ignoring a problem. Or I can carry on through the static, trusting in God that from the din of challenges, something beautiful will emerge, in His time and for His glory.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,
He will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for His own glory.
Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Living by Threes

Three of my Favorite Men: Ryan, Cadence, Rich. March, 2011
Embracing  the Trinity
About 350 B.C., Aristotle wrote, in his Poetics, "A whole is what has a beginning and middle and end." When I stop and think about it, we frame all kinds of things in threes:

Past, present, future
Small, medium, large (or at Starbucks: tall, grande, venti)
Before, during, after

Morning, noon, night
Mom, dad, and the kids
Breakfast, lunch, dinner

Yesterday, today, tomorrow
The good, the bad, and the ugly
Heaven, earth, hell

And so on.

Writers employ the rule of three, "that suggests that things that come in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, or more effective than other numbers of things." The disciplines of medicine, mathematics, economics, aviation, and computer programming each have a rule of three. Photographers, designers and painters rely on the rule of thirds. Scuba divers follow their own rule of thirds. In baseball, each team is allowed three outs per inning.

Classic dramas are often written in three acts. Novels may be strung together in a trilogy. We learn in school to provide three examples when we write essays.

We see in three dimensions. Matter has three forms: solid, liquid, and vapor. Animals are diurnal, nocturnal, or crepuscular.

It seems God designed us to be drawn to threes. The mystery of our Triune God is beyond my understanding; I ponder God's simultaneous, enduring existence as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and I cannot quite grasp it.

I wonder whether our omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God planted an irresistible attraction to three in our hearts to draw us to Him, because He is Three.

18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:18-20 (NASB)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Adopt a Desk

Homeless Bookcases
It's Who you Know
Last week my coworkers and I moved into our newly-remodeled offices. The construction project has kept me busy over these past three months. As operations manager, I've been busy coordinating with contractors, carpet-layers and cable technicians, for example, along with all my "regular" tasks.

As moving day approached, I began working on finding a new home for our old furniture. We had taken it with us to our tiny "swing space" where we'd been working since December. But new, updated, espresso-colored desks were on the way. My mission was to arrange the old furniture's removal on moving day.

One business goal of this task was to spend as little money as possible; another goal was to avoid sending serviceable items to landfill. I hoped to avoid a parade of Craigslist readers trooping through our crowded temporary offices to examine the offerings. And we needed to use the old furniture until the day we moved, so timing was crucial.

A few weeks before moving day, I met our telephone service vendor's technicians at our construction site to review the placement of our data and voice cables. As we walked to the door, I offhandedly said, "Either of you need a desk? We're getting rid of all our old stuff." One of them replied, "We're getting ready to expand our offices. You should give Ken a call."

I phoned Ken. I emailed photos of the furniture. We discussed scheduling. On moving day, after the technicians had relocated our phone and network services to our old, now new, offices, the telephone service guys loaded all our old furniture into a truck and took it to their warehouse, where they'll store it until they are ready to use it.

I spent no money. Ken's company has furniture waiting for the day they need it. I didn't have to escort hordes of looky-loos through our offices, and I didn't have piles of unwanted furniture to haul to the dump.

In other words, I blurted out a question and received a fully-satisfying solution to a problem.

I need to remember the furniture-rehoming episode when I pray. God specializes in everything. But I need to ask Him for what I need.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NASB)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Get Your Joy On!

Boxes
Managing Transitions with Prayer and Praise
I left my office on a recent Friday evening nearly wobbling to my car. My job has been especially challenging for the past several months.

You see, we're remodeling our offices.

As operations manager, my role in this project has included interviewing and recommending vendors, meeting with contractors, designers, electricians, and painters, and arranging and executing our move into temporary offices, which were substantially smaller than our permanent office suite.

I also kept an eye and ear on the rest of our staff, doing my best to serve as a buffer between them and the chaos so they could focus on their usual tasks--and our business could continue to function.

I wove these tasks in between the accounting, human resources, corporate communications, and supervisory duties that filled my days before we began The Project, and  fill my days again now that it's done.
It was good work, challenging, satisfying, and rewarding. It was also, at times, exhausting. On this particular Friday we were but one week away from the reoccupation of our new/old offices; coordinating our move back into our space was my primary focus and I'd spent a good part of the day phoning movers and service providers.

I climbed into my truck and sat for a moment, giving thanks for the stamina that had carried me through another week. I tried, unsuccessfully, to remember what I planned to prepare for dinner that night.

As I buckled up I switched on the radio, tuning to KFSH, our local Christian radio station. I could use some encouragement during my drive home. The afternoon drive-time disc jockey, Big Wave Dave, fills the spaces between songs with words worth hearing and I was looking forward to enjoying some uplifting music on the way home.

I cranked up the volume to the opening notes of ""Agnus Dei"" by Third Day and sang along. A moment later, "Glorious Day" by Casting Crowns filled the cab of my truck and I joined in. After a commercial break, I  harmonized on  "No One Loves me Like You Do" by Jars of Clay.

By the time I crested the hill that defines one end of the canyon where I live (and blots FM radio reception), I was calm, relaxed, and refreshed. I remembered that I'd make meat loaf for dinner that evening.

As I counted my blessings that night, I poured out my gratitude for musicians and DJs who use their gifts to glorify God. And I poured out my gratitude for my great big God, who hears my prayer and delights in my praise--even when it's delivered slightly off-key as I make my way home from a tough, tough day.
1 Sing for joy in the LORD, O you righteous ones;
Praise is becoming to the upright.
2 Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre;
Sing praises to Him with a harp of ten strings.
3 Sing to Him a new song;
Play skillfully with a shout of joy.
4 For the word of the LORD is upright,
And all His work is done in faithfulness.
5 He loves righteousness and justice;
The earth is full of the lovingkindness of the LORD.
Psalm 33:1-5 (NASB)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Strung Out On Prayer

Prayer Beads

Well in Hand
In matters of faith I try to avoid trappings and focus instead on treasures--stuff like salvation. And my friendship with my Savior.

But when I read Gordon Atkinson's fine post, "A Rosary for a Baptist,"  last month over at The High Calling, I found myself drawn to the idea of stringing up some prayer beads and incorporating them into my praying life.

Gordon described using his rosary in contemplative prayer. I hoped to use my beads to add measure and structure to my prayers. Perhaps I'd intercede on the first line of little beads and then praise on the next set, instead of the stream-of-consciousness babble, interspersed with quiet, that I usually offered up to God.

Gordon's post appeared the day my husband Rich and I began our vacation. I had time, plenty of time, to create a strand of prayer beads. When I spotted a bead shop in Mendocino, I dove inside to search for materials.

I think I'd been in a bead shop once before, in Santa Barbara, at least fifteen years earlier. In the interim I'd forgotten the depth of variety that would confront me inside. After I'd browsed for twenty minutes without selecting anything, Rich gently excused himself to explore the shop next door.

I examined and fingered the beads, comparing colors and textures, for another thirty minutes. Then, suddenly, my choices were clear and I quickly gathered together the beads I would use. The shopkeeper advised me on stringing material and tucked my selections into a small bag.

That evening, back at our cabin, I sat down to string my beads. After a few false starts, the pattern I would follow emerged. I completed my prayer beads in an hour or so, a bit disappointed that my project didn't take more time. Shouldn't the creation of a tool for prayer take a long time?

The next morning I held my beads as I read my bible. I took them with me when we left our cabin for the day's adventures. I brought them back into the cabin when we returned that evening. I studied them, noting my amateurish knots.

A few days later, as Rich and I faced a challenging road, I found myself clutching my beads. They soothed me.

It's been a month now since I strung those beads. I confess that I have not yet mastered the structured, disciplined prayer that I hoped they would encourage. But I treasure these trappings of my faith all the same.

I set them on my desk, to the left of the keyboard, at my office. Sometimes I hold them as I drive, looping the strand over my left wrist. At home they often come to rest on my kitchen counter. I have not yet carried them with me to church.

Unlike the cross I wear around my neck, I can see the beads as I move through my day. I can pick them up and hold them.

They're always with me. When I touch them while I wade through an accumulation of email, grip them as I drive, or gaze upon them as I chop onions, I remember that my God is with me.

I face no trial alone.
I achieve nothing alone.
Nothing I do, or fail to do, is hidden from God.
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
12 Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.
Psalm 139:8-12 (NASB)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Potatoes for Lent

Spuds


Slow Cooking
Before leaving for work on a day that promised to be filled with challenges, I slipped a piece of beef, carrots, potatoes, celery, and seasonings into my slow cooker. I knew the day ahead would consume my energy stores; the prospect of pot roast awaiting my return soothed me. 

When I returned home that evening, I was indeed tired. Two key meetings and the completion of an important, complex report had been my goals when I'd arrived in the morning. We're also remodeling our offices. As the project nears completion, I spend increasingly large chunks of time each day consulting with the contractor on paint colors, where exactly the data connections belong, when our alarm guy will be by to finish running wires. If I normally juggle three balls at work, these days I'm trying to keep twelve of them in the air.   

The aroma of comfort food met me at the door. I greeted my husband and made for the kitchen to check on dinner. 

Hmm. Were the potatoes done? I nudged them with a wooden spoon, but couldn't determine their doneness. I poked with my finger and still wasn't satisfied. Finally, I removed a potato from the pot, cut into it, blew on it, and bit.

The potatoes were done, but I had to take a bite to really be sure.

During this busy time at work I've been leaning into God for sustenance. Sometimes I'm so wrung out I just give Him a nudge or a poke.

What I need to do instead is to take a bite. When I put my time with Him first, and really chew on my faith, the days are less frantic. His sheltering love is there for me; it's up to me to slow down and make the time to seek it--to seek Him.

This Lenten season, I'm giving up nudging and poking. I'm going to sit down and feast.
8 O taste and see that the LORD is good;
How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
9 O fear the LORD, you His saints;
For to those who fear Him there is no want.
10 The young lions do lack and suffer hunger;
But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.
Psalm 34:8-10 (NASB)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Ultimate Grown-Up

Cadence the Skipper, October, 2010
Father Knows Best
Last fall we invited my daughter Elaine, our son-in-law Rob, and grandson Cadence to a cruise on our boat. We met at our marina and headed out into the wide Pacific, keeping an easy pace, as Elaine was eight months pregnant with Sawyer at the time.

After we'd cruised for a while, admiring sea lions, sea birds, and seaside homes clinging to the headlands, I murmered to Elaine, "Cadence can 'drive' for a bit if he wants to." She nodded and turned to him.

"Do you want to drive Papa Rich and Lala's boat?" she asked him.

He turned to her with one of those classic, "Mom, you're nuts" expressions, all but rolling his eyes at her. "That's a grown-up's job!" he exclaimed.

We all chuckled. "Papa Rich will help you," his mother explained to him.

Cadence was eager to drive the boat, once he realized the responsibility didn't fall to him alone: his grandpa was right there with him, and would help him.

When I'm worried about some task or situation, I need to remember my grandson's words: "That's a grown-up's job!" Our God is the ultimate grown-up. When I hand my cares over to my Father, who is right there with me, He will help me.

25"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' 32 "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. Matthew 6:25-32 (NASB)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Fender Benders, Faith, and Fortunes

The Ding

An Act of Faith, Rewarded
On February 7, as I sat at my desk at work, I heard someone enter our office and ask at reception, "Does anyone here drive a gray truck?" I walked out to the lobby, where I found two Latino men whose t-shirts advertised a mobile detailing service. I said, "I drive a silver Tacoma. Is that the truck you mean?" One of them nodded. I followed them to the parking lot as this-is-going-to-be-a-hassle dread rose in me.

"We backed into your bumper when we turned our van around," the shorter man told me. I sighed. "Let's have a look," I said. My truck sported a new crease, about four inches long, in the rear bumper.

"What would you like us to do?" the spokesman for the duo asked me.

I took my first good look at the men and realized they were frightened. Both of them were studying me nervously. I wondered how big a chunk of their lives I held in my hands at that moment. Perhaps their business wasn't properly licensed. Maybe their immigration status was suspect.

Or maybe they didn't want to lose an hour out of their workday dealing with police reports and insurance paperwork--but their fear seemed deeper than that.

I studied the nick in my bumper. Finally I said to them, "My truck is five years old. It has other dings. I would like for my husband to look at it, but I think it's okay. But, look here: the lens cover on my tail light is cracked, too. We'll need to get that fixed."

The two men each let out a long breath as their expressions eased. Their spokesman, Geraldo, offered me his card. "You find the price and tell me. We're here every Monday. I will come and pay you."

Two days later I called Geraldo. I spent a few minutes reminding him who I was, then I told him that we were not worried about the bumper damage and that I'd found a replacement tail light for sixty dollars. "Okay," he said, and hung up.

Monday, February 14, came and went and Geraldo did not come to my office. Later that week we left on a long-planned vacation. When I returned on Monday the 28th, I asked if anyone had come by to leave some money for me. "No," the administrative assistant reported. "No one came by."

I was disappointed, but not terribly shocked. I mentally shrugged. Maybe we'd get our sixty dollars back; maybe we wouldn't.

Later that day, as I sat in my truck using my cell phone, I saw the detailing van pull up. It stopped behind me, so that I could not pull out of my parking space. After a moment Geraldo approached the truck. "Sheila?" he said. "Hi, Geraldo," I responded.

"What did your husband say about the bumper?" I was startled. Had he forgotten my phone call? Or not understood me?

"We're not going to fix the bumper," I told him. "My truck is five years old. The tail light part was sixty dollars."

"Sixty dollars?" he asked, "Yes, I told him." Geraldo smiled, big. "We'll be back with your money today. We came by last Monday but it was a holiday."

Later that afternoon, as I folded three twenty-dollar bills into my wallet and said good-bye to Geraldo and his taller, silent partner, I felt a gratitude worth far more than the sum of sixty dollars. Geraldo's faithfulness to his word had illuminated for me God's faithfulness to His word.

God keeps His word, in His time and in His fashion--and I depend on Him for things far more dear than a new tail light.
 23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.
Hebrews 10:23 (NLT)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Family Spy

Flowers
Dress Rehearsal
I am alone in my in-laws' house, rummaging through cabinets. In the garage I find the necessary tool: Dad's rose pruners.  I will need them to complete my mission.
The night before my plan had been to purchase a compact, tidy bouquet to take to my mother-in-law's hospital room. In the morning, early, her doctor phones us with the happy conclusion that she has not suffered any major damage; a tiny bleed in her brain has irritated it, but she will recover. My husband and his father wipe their eyes. Seated between them, I lean a bit into each of them, as if I'm seeking comfort rather than offering it. We all three grab phones, scattering the good news among the many siblings and grandchildren. Then they set off to bring her home.
I shed grateful tears of thanksgiving alone, after the menfolk have set off to retrieve our treasure from the hospital.
I drive to the flower stand and select an exuberant heap of flowers: hot pink roses, and more roses, white with pink margins on the petals. More roses are never a mistake. I choose gerbera daisies, effusively round and pink; stargazer lilies for their architecture and fragrance; a single stalk of tuberose, for stature and more sweetness; stock, deep purple like vestments, or the sweater we gave her last Christmas; lavender spider mums, to make the other colors play nicely together. Yes, I tell the flower girl, I want greenery. Lemon leaf? Myrtle? I'll take some of both. Oh—and yes, waxflower, please, for its giddy sweetness.
Returning to their home, I slip in through the garage, stealthy, as if I don't belong. There's the enormous glass vase Mom loves. I rinse it and fill it, then heave it to the kitchen counter. I unwrap the flowers and greens, trimming with the pilfered pruners and tucking until I'm satisfied with their composition. I write a card: "Welcome home, Beth! Love, Everyone." I haul the vase—two-hand heavy—to the glass-topped coffee table in the family room and place it there, as this family is a family-room family. We gather here; the flowers, her trophy for being well enough to come back home, to us, belong here. The waxflower droops to the sides more than I'd hoped, but otherwise I'm satisfied with my efforts.
My husband texts me, asks for his uncle's phone number in Wyoming, tells me where I'll find the address book. I locate the book, turn to the "P"s. I text back the requested number. Returning to the book, I see notes beneath names and numbers, describing the relationship: "Mary Smith, cousin—Dad's side."
And I am thinking those notes will help. This trip was not the trip, but the day will come: We will travel here, as we did late last night. We'll choose funeral flowers instead of happy-day flowers. There will be grieving, and phone calls: phone calls go with grieving.
I hope that day is far, far, far in our future. I don't ever want to say "so long" to this wonderful woman who reared my amazing husband and welcomed me into the family as one of her own.
I put away the address book, remembering where I can find it again. I return the pruners, clean and dry, to Dad's workbench in the garage. My mission is complete.
4 Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
5 For the LORD is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100:4-5 (NASB)





Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Cows, Horses, and Truth

Oceanfront Pastures, Mendocino County, February 2011
The Spin Cycle
When our grandson Cadence was two, distinguishing between cows and horses challenged him. He'd point to a neighbor's horse and say, "cow." "Horsie," I'd gently correct him. We'd drive by a herd of cattle and he'd say, "horsies." "Cows," I would remind him.

Finally he developed a simple solution: for a time, he called both bovine and equine creatures "cowhorsies." His coined word charmed me. I'd respond, "yes, those are cows" and we'd go on our way. Eventually he learned to recognize the difference between cows and horses and "cowhorsy" disappeared from the family lexicon.

But for a time, he had innocently found a way to express himself that wasn't quite right, but close enough that we understood him, and didn't reap a correction from Grandma Lala. "Cowhorsy" was an easy fix.

Sometimes I say things that aren't exactly right, but my motives aren't so innocent. Maybe I claim fatigue when I'm irritated by some minor event: "I'm not upset--I'm just tired." Maybe I reflexively ask, "how are you?" when I don't really intend to listen carefully to the response. Or maybe, I respond, "doing well, thanks!" when I'm hurting inside.

David Rupert at Red Letter Believers blogged about "spin" last month. Reading his insightful post and the comments it inspired, I realized that spinning--those little twists on the truth--makes me dizzy.

And I prefer a clear head to wooziness.

Lent begins tomorrow. This year I plan to fast from sugarcoating. I'm hopeful that by Easter Sunday, I'll have planted a habit of speaking truth with love, or sometimes choosing to give grace and remain quiet.
14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.
Ephesians 4:14-15 (NLT)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Follow That Cloud!

Headlands of the Lost Coast, Humboldt County, February 2011
Wayfinding
Last week my husband Rich and I concluded a 10-day vacation. We filled each day with unhurried meanderings, marveling at the splendor of California's northern coast and exploring back roads at whim. As we traveled, a single sentence that I'd heard recently at a seminar returned, over and over, to my mind:

"We thought about relocating, but it seemed we were so blessed where we were that it was hard to think of moving on."

That sentiment resonates in me. Where we are is comfortable. It's known. It's safe. We're blessed here.

The troubling bit is this: If we're afraid to move because we're so blessed here, aren't we shrinking God? We might as well say, "This is the best God has for us."

I believe the best He has for us is beyond my imagination. Thus, I shrivel my faith when I cling to a place (or a situation, or a condition) because I cannot imagine being more blessed in a different place, or situation, or condition.

I want the roots that nourish and stabilize us when winds of turmoil blow. But I also want to be ready to move on to a different place, or situation, or condition, when called to do so.

My prayer for today is that rather than clinging to a place, or situation, or condition, we'll cling instead to God and trust that if He leads us to change, He'll bless us in the changing.

Father, be the cloud over us. We'll follow You.
36 Throughout all their journeys whenever the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the sons of Israel would set out; 37 but if the cloud was not taken up, then they did not set out until the day when it was taken up. 38 For throughout all their journeys, the cloud of the LORD was on the tabernacle by day, and there was fire in it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel.
Exodus 40:36-38 (NASB)


Thursday, March 3, 2011

A Small Thing, Desired

Pocket Mirror
Mirror Mystery
The morning after Rich and I arrived at our rented vacation cabin in Point Arena, we set out for the "big town" of Fort Bragg to stock the pantry and refrigerator. At the supermarket I looked for a small mirror. I wanted one to carry in my purse.

The store offered a mirror, priced at $6.99. Encased in muddy maroon plastic, it carried a negative net aesthetic value. But it was the only mirror available and I needed a mirror, so I tossed it into the cart.

Back at our cabin we stowed our purchases. The mirror was not among them. I searched the plastic bags we'd tossed in the recycling bin under the sink. It hadn't been overlooked. I pulled out the receipt and scanned the list.

We hadn't paid for the mirror. Somehow, it never made it from cart to conveyer belt.

Through the week, whenever we found ourselves browsing in the small shops in the seaside villages of the Mendocino Coast, I looked, vainly, for a mirror. No mirror was to be had.

Five days later we drove north to Eureka for an overnight visit. On our way, we passed through Fort Bragg. "There's a drug store," Rich said. "Do you want to stop and pick up a mirror?"

"It's okay," I answered. "Let's just keep going."

Our first stop in the Eureka area was in the town of Ferndale. We parked the car and embarked on a walking tour of the town's Victorian Main Street. We'd parked in front of the Ferndale Emporium, so we wandered into the shop to poke around.

Inside the store I found a pocket mirror. Covered in a teal and black metallic zebra print, it bore a fanciful image of a woman. Dressed in an ensemble of polka dots, stripes and a floral print, she sported big flashy earrings. Her red mane obscured her right eye. Her blouse was tied about her waist, exposing her belly button. I would never dress in such a manner--but I could carry this whimsical fashionista in my purse.

I turned the mirror over to determine its price: $6.95.  I could acquire this amusing mirror for no more than the drab mirror would have cost, had it not disappeared from our shopping basket.

The mirror reminds me that nothing I desire is too small for God's attention.  It helps me remember to trust in Him not only for important matters, for small things, too.
3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart’s desires.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust Him, and He will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for Him to act.
Psalm 37:3-7 (NLT)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Following the Narrow Way

Rewarding View, Near Annapolis, California
Hidden Rewards

When my husband Rich and I planned a vacation for this winter, we intentionally chose a quiet, remote area. Rather than packing our days with attractions and activities, we wanted our vacation to serve as a quiet time together to relax and reconnect. We booked a cabin in Point Arena on California’s northern coast.

Here, pocket beaches piled with driftwood cling to the bases of cliffs that rise from the sea. Cattle and sheep graze in meadows overlooking the ocean. Redwoods rise on either side of the inland roads, their limbs forming an arcade as they stretch across the roadway overhead. A green sign beside the road announces each small town and states its population: “Point Arena, pop. 473.” “Manchester, pop. 462.” “Elk, pop. 250.”

We packed jeans, sweatshirts, and hiking boots. We brought books. Our cabin came with a fireplace.

Our general plan was to head out each day in a different direction, touring the small towns along the way and admiring the magnificent creation that stretched before us in all directions. And so, on Sunday, we pointed our car south and drove to Gualala, the next town south of Point Arena. After enjoying lunch there, we continued south, passing through The Sea Ranch and making our way to Stewarts Point. I noticed, as we drove south, a sign marking a road that led east from Highway 1. It read, “Annapolis 7.” Beneath the sign, an easel offered tasting at a winery in Annapolis.

On our return north we decided to turn east into the mountains towards Annapolis. At the junction, another sign read, “Trucks and RVs not recommended.” We made our way up the winding road, slowing for hairpin curves along the way. Near the top, we stopped at a turnout to admire the view of the river below.

A line of boulders formed a guardrail along the turnout’s edge. Rich stepped onto one of the boulders and offered me his hand; I scrambled up to stand beside him. We could see the river, muddied by the week’s rain, below. Our vantage point was shaded by redwood trees, but sunshine poured onto the river valley, gilding the foliage of the trees.

We stood in silence as deep as the shade, pierced only by the occasional call of a bird, and surveyed the scene that spread before us.

As we returned to the car, rain began to fall. A few minutes later we had reached Annapolis. We saw snug homes tucked beneath the trees, a school, a post office, and the winery. Once we’d passed through the hamlet, Rich began looking for a place to turn around.

I pulled out our map. “It looks like we can continue down this road. It loops around and rejoins the 1 at Stewarts Point.” Because the scenery was so beautiful, and because we had no further plans for the day, we pressed on.

The road grew narrower and more winding as we continued. We reached the top of the mountain and began our descent down the wet, twisting road. Rich drove carefully; we spoke little so that he could concentrate on the challenging route.

We came to a beautiful bridge barely wider than the width of a car. We stopped to photograph the bridge. Once we crossed over it, we could see that the road was only a single lane wide as it wriggled through the forest before us. A sign cautioned drivers to be alert for oncoming cars, but the corkscrewing route limited our view of the road ahead.

A Most Narrow Bridge

Where the drive had been challenging, it now became nerve-wracking. I caught myself holding my breath and reminded myself to breathe. Three times an oncoming car appeared and we pulled quickly to the side to allow it to pass. Somewhere along this stretch of the road we drove out of the mountaintop microclimate that had brought the rain; sunshine filtered through the tall trees.

Because we drove so slowly, I caught details of the scenery that I would have missed otherwise. I saw a bird’s nest knitted into the crotch of a tree. I noted the red litter of dried pine needles cushioning the ground alongside the road. Lichen grew on the tree trunks, creating a mosaic against the shaggy bark. Ferns sprouted up like hula skirts circling the bases of the straight, solemn trees.

Suddenly we came around a bend and before us stretched several hundred feet of straight roadway. Stewarts Point lay ahead. Beyond it the ocean glittered in the afternoon sun. Rich and I heaved simultaneous sighs of relief.

He pulled over for a moment before we rejoined Highway 1. “Man,” he said. “That was hairy.” “Yes it was!” I agreed. “Thank you for navigating us safely through it.” “You’re welcome,” he answered. “Tough as it was to follow that narrow road, those views were well worth it.”

He was right, of course. Driving that skinny mountain road had drawn us outside our comfort zones. The path was narrow and required constant attention, but it yielded rewards far beyond what we had imagined we might find there.
13"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.
14"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Matthew 7:13-14 (NASB)