Go Tell it on the Mountain!

Son-in-Law Rob, Brand new Grandson Sawyer, Husband Rich

Greatest Gift

God could have sent us anyone, or anything, to secure our salvation. After all, He's God. He has the advantage of omnipotence and He could have worked that out any way He chose.

But He didn't send anyone. He gave us His only Son.

And because He's God, His love for that Son is perfect. We're busy falling crazy-in-love with our new grandson. But we're not perfect, so our love for little Sawyer, while deep and tender and wonderful, isn't perfect, and it never will be.

Having a new baby in the family this Advent season illuminates for me the enormity of God's gift to us. He sent us His Son.

That's something to shout from the mountaintops.

James Taylor: "Go Tell it on the Mountain."

Thanks to my friend Bob Coller for sharing this video with me.

6 For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.
7 There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
From then on and forevermore
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will accomplish this.
Isaiah 9:6-7 (NASB )

Wired for Worship

Rainbow, Anza Borrego Desert, California, October 2010

It's the Creator

I feel respectful in the desert. It's vast, and calm, and if I look carefully, I see a tremendous, subtle variety in color and form. Almost always it's really cold or wiltingly hot. Surprising weather can develop at any moment.

Motu Tautau, Tahaa, French Polynesia, January 2004

Aboard a canoe on a lagoon in Tahaa, French Polynesia, sitting in the moonlight and listening to unseen waves battering the barrier reef, I've known the presence of enormous power.

The first time I saw the Cathedral Group in the Grand Teton mountain range, I understood majesty in a new, deeper way.

Sunset over the Pacific Ocean, September 2007

I trust the faithfulness of our planet's annual trip around the sun. Mercifully, this trust has never been betrayed.  Its dependability reminds me of my small, secure, unique place in the universe.

 Julian, California, June 2010

Walking in the woods, the filtered sunlight that finds its way to my face brings me peace. The steadiness of leaf litter cushioning my steps comforts me. 

When I was a small child I thought that these qualities came from nature. Now, I understand that they're gifts of the One who created it all. He shows us His qualities in the earth He's provided for us.

19 They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

Romans 1:19-20 (NLT)



My Favorite Thanksgiving

Dad and my nephew Craig, Thanksgiving, 2007

Grateful Lives

In November of 2007, Rich and I were newlyweds of not quite three months. We'd been evacuated from our beloved home a month earlier due to a massive wildfire. Our home, and our entire neighborhood, had been spared, thanks to God's grace and some hard, hard work on the part of firefighters.  But now we'd returned, the soot had been swept out, precious photos had reclaimed their places on our walls, and it was Thanksgiving Day. Our parents, our siblings, and some of our children gathered in our home to give thanks. Had our house burned, we'd have given thanks--but in a different place.

By Thanksgiving of 2008, my mother had been called home. When we sat down to the feast that November, one treasured face was  missing from the gathered family. And we gave thanks.

Rich has dealt with some health challenges this year. And we give thanks.

God has blessed us incredibly. I hope that with some reflection, no matter what hardships you face, you can see His blessings on you, too.

I intend to focus on all for which I can give thanks--and that's everything. I trust my God's sovereignity: even  apparent hardships will be worked for good. Please join me.

1 Come, let us sing to the Lord!

Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation.
2 Let us come to Him with thanksgiving.
Let us sing psalms of praise to Him.
3 For the Lord is a great God,
a great King above all gods.
4 He holds in His hands the depths of the earth
and the mightiest mountains.
5 The sea belongs to Him, for He made it.
His hands formed the dry land, too.
6 Come, let us worship and bow down.
Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,
7 for He is our God.
We are the people He watches over,
the flock under His care.
If only you would listen to his voice today!

Psalm 95: 1-7 (NLT)

Guiding Light

Uncle Roy, Aunt Nancy, Mom: August, 2006



Taproot Treasure
Yesterday I visited Legoland with my daughter, son-in-law, their sons, and my co-grandparents. Newborn Sawyer slept through the visit; four-year-old Cadence delighted in the park, the rides, and the Lego statues.

As I returned to Orange County that evening, I was reflecting on the pleasure of the day when my phone rang. It was my great-aunt Nancy. She'd just seen the photos I had emailed of Sawyer and was calling to congratulate me on my new grandson.

Nancy is married to my great-uncle Roy. My grandfather was the oldest of the Downs boys and Roy, the youngest. He and Nancy are just a few years older than my parents and their sons are roughly the same ages as my siblings and me. During my childhood we spent a lot of time together.

Then we grew up, life happened, and we saw one another less--though Nancy, my mother and my aunt made it a point to gather regularly. Nancy and I reconnected when my mother was dying.

We don't speak frequently, but when we talk, it's never small talk. She's insightful, smart, and unflaggingly kind. I learn something important about my family every time we talk.

Last night our topics ranged over my new grandchild, her oldest son's health, their summer adventure in their RV, our respective plans for Thanksgiving, her sisters, bible study, and our husbands.

Nancy manages to weave the family history into the most mundane topics. Last night I heard, for example, of the time my mother told her that the best accompaniment to split pea soup is "any kind of wine." At another point I was struggling to explain my mother's feelings about my overseas travel as a graduate student. When I fumbled for the right words, Nancy supplied them: "...she would have liked to have gone herself." "Exactly!" I replied.

We talked for an hour. Barring the sharing of urgent family news, we don't do short phone calls. When I hung up I realized that Nancy is the only woman of an ascendant generation remaining in my family who's known me all my life.

Time spent talking with my great-aunt Nancy illuminates for me my place in my family, much like reading my bible illuminates for me my place in God's family.

She's a treasure.

12 Therefore, I will always remind you about these things—even though you already know them and are standing firm in the truth you have been taught. 13 And it is only right that I should keep on reminding you as long as I live.
2 Peter 1:12-13 (NLT)

In the Land of the Living

Cadence, Rob, Elaine, and Sawyer

Happy Birthday, Rob!

Our son-in-law Rob is 30 today. Yesterday, Elaine prepared a lovely party for her husband. Rich and I drove in the rain to San Diego to share in the merrymaking, arriving a bit early to help with last-minute preparations.

Thus we had the pleasure of watching the house fill with friends and family. Our kids' friends streamed in to join in the happy occasion. A few of them brought their own children. Some of their friends' parents joined in the festivities. Rob's grandfather, Buck, attended, giving us four generations gathered to celebrate Rob.

I held my newest grandson and surveyed the scene. My heart swelled as I contemplated this beautiful young family and all the people who love them enough to spend a Saturday (the Saturday before a holiday!) sharing in their happiness.

God is good.

13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27: 13-14 (NLT)

Everyday Gratitude

Service for Twelve

Little Mercies

I don't love to shop. In fact I don't even like to shop. When we need stuff, I feel a burden to be a good steward of our resources and make wise choices, but I don't enjoy the thrill of searching for Just The Right Thing to meet our needs.

So when Rich and I recently decided to replace our everyday dishes, I wasn't excited about the prospect. The need was legitimate: our previous set was eight or nine years old. The glazing on the mugs had cracked (probably due to microwave abuse) and a dinner plate and bowl had fallen victim to slippery hands at the kitchen sink, so I only had seven complete settings. I had selected the old dishes before I met Rich, and while he was gracious about using them, their style was not to his taste.

Before deciding to replace our set, I checked with Replacements, Ltd. for the cost to replace the cracked mugs and broken pieces. Since the stoneware pattern had been discontinued, remaining stock had become prohibitively expensive.

We resigned ourselves to new dishes and commenced shopping. After a few months of investigating sales and being disappointed, we decided to choose another pattern from the same stoneware maker who'd made our old dishes; other than the abused mugs, the dishes looked like new despite years of daily use.

We settled on a pattern and I began shopping for price. One morning I discovered that the manufacturer was offering a big pre-holiday sale: we could order service for 12 for a fabulous price. I ordered the dishes.

The manufacturer promptly sent me a coupon good for a 20 percent discount on our next order. Rich and I discussed it and decided to order serving pieces. With the sale still running and the extra discount, we bought platters, serving bowls, a gravy boat, sugar and creamer--all the pieces I wanted--for a great price.

We had spent just over $300 on our new dishes. With our growing family, I was pleased to have service for 12 and we were both relieved that the dish-selection ordeal was behind us.

Then it dawned on me. If my old dishes commanded such a high price, perhaps the china-matching service would buy mine? I  requested a quote.

You might imagine our surprise when Replacements offered us $332 for our used, incomplete service for eight (minus mugs) and two serving dishes. We used the boxes, bubble wrap, and filler from our shipment of  new dishes to carefully pack the old. Less than  a week later, we received a check in the mail for the quoted amount.

It's easy for me to remember to thank God for His big mercies--the arrival of a healthy baby, a healed relationship, a loved one's protection from harm.

The little stuff comes from Him, too. Little things like socks. And new dishes. His provision is endless.

My gratitude should be, too.

24 I will answer them before they even call to Me.
While they are still talking about their needs,
I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

Isaiah 65:24 (NLT)

Edited on December 5, 2010 to add:
After I posted this entry, its incompleteness gnawed at me, as I'd neglected to discuss the more challenging form of gratitude. I "finished" this post with an additional post, which you can find here.

Risk, Fear, and Peace

The Pacific Ocean

Shaking It Up

I've been struck lately by passages in the bible that describe people's fear of Christ's power. Mark 5 provides one example:

15 A crowd soon gathered around Jesus, and they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons. He was sitting there fully clothed and perfectly sane, and they were all afraid. 16 Then those who had seen what happened told the others about the demon-possessed man and the pigs. 17 And the crowd began pleading with Jesus to go away and leave them alone.

Mark 5:15-17 (NLT: my emphasis)

Jesus had cast a legion of demons from a tormented man--and the people, frightened by a miracle-worker in their midst, begged Him to leave them as they had been.

Sometimes I've chosen the safe and familiar over the tremendous opportunity to be more, love better, live more fully.

Sometimes the possibility of a miracle scares me.

This thinking betrays my limited understanding of my God's size and power.

These past few days, my husband Rich and I have been considering a big decision. One option was to remain in our safe and comfortable routine. The other option carries risk and the opportunity make a real difference in the life of a loved one.

We've prayed  and prayed about this decision. Last night we chose opportunity.

Now that we've decided our course, we need to keep inviting God into the middle of our lives. We need to rest in His peace.

And we need to remember not to flee in fear when He hands us something amazing.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9 (NASB)

Little Miracles

Sawyer Anton Matoushek, 13 Hours Old

Bundles of Joy!

That expression used to sound trite to me. Not so much anymore.

Wednesday my son-in-law phoned me at 2:45 in the afternoon. "We're being admitted and they're going to induce Elaine," Rob reported. "Everything's fine...it's just time." Sawyer's due date had come and gone eight days earlier. "We're on our way!" I told him.

I phoned my husband and told him what was happening. We agreed to meet at our home before driving the 80 miles south to San Diego for the baby's birth. My coworkers were excited as I wrapped up a few things and headed out the door. I beat Rich home, so I packed our bag and contacted our dogsitter. Rich arrived soon after I'd completed our preparations, and off we went.

The hours at the hospital were a blur. We  gathered there, Rich and I, Rob's mom Judi, Elaine's father Jim. Elaine's best friend Angela arrived a few hours after we did. The medical staff slowed, then stopped, Elaine's labor-inducing medication, as her contractions were close together and the baby was under a bit of stress. At one point they fitted her with an oxygen mask and my heart sank. Elaine was ready for privacy; the grandparents retired to the waiting room. We prayed. We waited.

A little after four in the morning, Rob came out and dropped into a chair beside Elaine's dad. He announced to us that Sawyer had arrived at 3:30, weighing 9 pounds, 3 ounces, 23 inches long. Mom and baby were doing fine, he told us. We laughed. We cried. We hugged each other. We gave thanks.

Later in the afternoon I had some quiet time with my newest grandson. His mother was taking a shower. His dad had gone for a walk with his own mom. Rich and I were alone with Sawyer. I held him, studied him, and asked God to bless him and his family.

I reflected, as I sat in the hospital, holding this tiny infant, that the same God who created the heavens and the earth, the sun and the stars, the mountains and the mighty oceans--that same God had created this little life that I now held in my hands.

Sawyer is part of a grand plan.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.
Every moment was laid out

before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
You are still with me!
Psalm 139:13-18 (NLT)

Lessons in Trust

Cadence meets baby brother Sawyer

Into the New

Yesterday our precious grandson, Sawyer, was born. In my experience, God's presence is never clearer than when a baby is entering this world. And He was certainly with us all as my daughter labored and delivered her second son.

In the midst of all this joy, I hadn't expected my grandson and new big brother Cadence to teach me about trust and dependence, but he did.

During his mother's pregnancy, Cadence had assumed that the grownups in his life would tell him the date that the baby would be born, and then on the named day, Sawyer would arrive. When his mother explained to him that we wouldn't know the exact date until Sawyer was born, Cadence trusted his mother and accepted the inversion of his understanding of the process. It didn't quite make sense to him, but he believed what his mommy told him.

Yesterday, Elaine's dad Jim and Rob's mom Judi brought Cadence to the hospital to meet the baby. Rich and I were already there; Rich had the video rolling to capture the moment.

As Cadence enters the room, I see his excitement and anticipation. I also see his uncertainty. He's stepping into unfamiliar territory. He looks around the room and sees his grandparents, his Rob-daddy, and his mother and new baby brother. His grandfather helps him onto the bed. Cadence offers Sawyer the teddy bear he'd chosen as a gift for his new sibling. He's calm and happy: his new baby brother is finally here, he's surrounded by his family, all is well.

At age four, Cadence can't navigate this big change without help from someone bigger than he is. Someone has to help him understand. Someone has to help him choose a gift for his baby brother. Someone has to drive him to the hospital. Someone has to help him climb up onto the bed.

This dependence is comfortable for him, because at age four he knows he's dependent. He can't drive himself to school. He can't cook his own pancakes. He can't launder his own clothes. And because he is surrounded by grownups who love him and meet his needs, he trusts that his needs will be met.

I need help to navigate life, too. I can learn much from my little grandson about trust and dependence. Even though I'm a grownup, my God is bigger than me and has never failed me. I can trust Him. I can depend on Him.

5 O Lord, You alone are my hope.
I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
6 Yes, You have been with me from birth;
from my mother’s womb You have cared for me.
No wonder I am always praising You!

Psalm 71:5-6

Hidden in Plain Sight

Elaine and I on a Motu off Tahaa, French Polynesia, January 2004

Right Under our Noses

My daughter Elaine and I have traveled together to many places. We've visited French Polynesia three times. We've been to Hawaii, to Texas, to Las Vegas, and taken more weekend road trips than I can count. One of my favorite trips, though, was our visit to Boston in 2002. Elaine was considering enrolling at the Berklee College of Music and we spent a week in the city to visit the campus and explore the area.

I'd been to Boston only once before, traveling with my family when I was 17. We had an appointment for an orientation and tour of the campus at 10 AM. Not being familiar with the city, we decided to take the T (Boston's subway) to the Back Bay, locate the campus, then enjoy breakfast in the neighborhood before returning to the school for orientation.

Now, this plan of ours may sound like a simple, sound plan for the morning, but in fact I had designed the morning's events carefully to address my unreasoning fear of getting lost on the way to An Important Appointment. This visit to Berklee was the point of our trip; I had visions of us getting lost, arriving late, missing the tour, or suffering some other disaster on our way to the school.

She and I were both nervous and excited. We exited the subway and walked down Boylston Street, watching the street numbers on the buildings to make sure we were headed the right way.

Suddenly there it was: We were standing before an unassuming door marked "Berklee College of Music." She and I stood there in silence for a moment. Then Elaine said, "wow." My eyes filled a little as I thought of my daughter and her dreams, and the steps we were taking to explore them.

Satisifed that we'd located our destination, we headed back up the street for breakfast.

We'd prepared for challenges in finding what we sought, but it was right before us. Seeking God can be just like that. I expect the search for Him to be hard, when all I really need to do is stop and look around me.

6 You formed the mountains by Your power
and armed Yourself with mighty strength.
7 You quieted the raging oceans
with their pounding waves
and silenced the shouting of the nations.
8 Those who live at the ends of the earth
stand in awe of Your wonders.
From where the sun rises to where it sets,
You inspire shouts of joy.
Psalm 65:6-8 (NLT)

Grudging Grace

Jockeying

Faith isn't Bowling

In bowling one can score a perfect game of 12 strikes.

Faith is different: none of us is perfect in our walk with Christ. Especially me.

A week or so ago I was driving home from work. Two lanes over, a woman in a sedan was caught behind a red light while attempting to change lanes. Her car sat cockeyed, like the white van on the left in this photo. When the light turned green, she waited for a gap between cars in the lane to her left to complete her lane change.

The man in the car behind her blasted his horn, long and loud. He continued honking well after she had moved out of his way, apparently distressed by the 10-second delay she'd caused him.

One block later, the same man was to my right as we came to a stop in the line of cars at the signal. Ahead was a left-turn lane, two lanes wide, leading to a freeway onramp. As we stopped, he lowered his window  and extended his arm. When traffic began to move, he cranked his wheel to nudge in ahead of me.

I held back to allow him room to change lanes. And I thought to myself, "You don't deserve this." He zipped in ahead of me, raced into the left-turn lane, and entered the intersection just as the light turned red.

I did the right thing: I showed grace to the hurried and harried driver. But I didn't feel the right thing. I could have been thinking, "That poor guy must have had a really tough day to be so impatient to get  home." Or I could have thought, "Wow! He must have some urgent deadline to make!"

Instead, I thought, "What a jerk."

Then I reflected: If I do the right thing, but bear a grudge in my heart, did I really do right? It makes me grateful that our Father knows our nature and extends salvation through His Son by grace alone--an undeserved gift.

Because if I had to rely on my works for my salvation, I'd be toast.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
Romans 7:18-19 (NLT)

And Now, a Word from our Sponsor

Cadence and Judi

Ladies in Waiting

Sunday morning at 2:20, the telephone roused Rich and me from sleep. It was daughter Elaine calling to tell us that for some hours, she'd been contracting at three-minute intervals: she and Rob were en route to the maternity ward.

After two quick showers and some haphazard packing, we were in the car by 3 AM, covering the 80 miles between us and San Diego. I was hoping we'd arrive in time to see her before the baby's birth.

We were about 10 minutes from the hospital when Judi, Rob's mother, called to tell me that Elaine was being sent home because her labor was not progressing towards delivery.

We were stunned. Elaine's first child had been born after about 10 hours of labor. None of us anticipated that her labor might stop after eight vigorous hours. Our kids were going home to rest and then walk, hoping the contractions would resume; the grandparents would gather at Elaine's dad's house to see what the day brought.

Judi and I were anxious for news, but determined not to pester Rob and Elaine. We knew they'd call us with an update. We visited, played with our grandson Cadence, and tried not to jump each time the phone rang.

The hours crept. I said, "I'm just praying for news." Judi nodded.

She logged into her Facebook account. After a few minutes, she said, "Sheila, come here! You've got to see this!"

Here's what she showed me:

The message reads, "On this day, God wants you to know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Trust in God that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Just as a child has to pass through a tiny channel on its way from the womb into life, so are you on your way to God."  

Our Sponsor, our Master, our Creator....He'll answer us, if we listen.

15 For I hope in You, O Lord;

You will answer, O Lord my God.

Psalm 38:15 (NASB)

A Halloween Tumble

Full Term Elaine and Cadence

Blood Matters

News that Elaine had experienced eight hours of vigorous labor and was en route to the hospital led us to race to San Diego in the wee small hours on Halloween morning, expecting to greet our newest grandson, Sawyer. Just as we arrived in the city, Sawyer's other grandma, Judi, called to tell us that Elaine's hard work had not resulted in any progress towards delivery; the hospital staff had not admitted her.

We detoured to Elaine's dad's house. Elaine and Rob went home to rest and then go walking, hoping that the contractions would resume. We spent a pleasant, if anxious, day with our grandson Cadence and the rest of the prospective grandparents, waiting for news. Elaine and Rob joined us midafternoon after a long and fruitless walk.

As the day wore on we realized we had an opportunity to accompany Cadence as he visited the neighbors to collect candy. As darkness approached, Elaine dressed Cadence in his Spiderman costume. We discussed our options and all agreed that Rob, Rich and I would take Cadence to trick-or-treat; Elaine, her mother in law Judi and her best friend Angela would set out on yet another walk; Jim, Elaine's father and our host for the day, would remain at home to greet children who came to his door.

In a moment of excitement, Cadence dashed around the patio, eager to be off, and tripped over a bench. He landed on his hands and knees. I removed his mask and helped him to his feet. "You okay, Buddy?" I asked him.

He carefully examined the palms of his hands. Finally he said, "Yes, Lala. Look! There's no blood!" Cadence judges the importance of an injury by the presence of blood. No blood? No worries. If blood is discovered, however, then something very important is going on and parental (or grandparental) treatment, hugs, and kisses are required.

I'm sure as Cadence grows older he will learn finer details of assessing an injury's gravity. But he is right about one thing: Blood matters.

Christ shed His blood for us all, redeeming us. It's very important stuff, indeed.

2 God the Father knew you and chose you long ago, and His Spirit has made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed Him and have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. May God give you more and more grace and peace.

1 Peter 1:2 (NLT)