Restoration Gardening

My Favorite Flowers
One year ago today my beloved mother was called home. You may read about the circumstances of her illness and death, and about how God held me close during that time, here, here, here, and here.

As is often the case, we were away from home for several days during this time. Our dear neighbor, Sue, cared for our dogs during our absence.

When we returned home on October 4, Sue welcomed us. We chatted for a few moments, then she pointed to my potted mums on the front deck. "I think I've killed them," she said. It had been hot during our absence. Sue had watered our plants, but the mums were crispy and brown despite her efforts.

"We'll see," I told her. "They're tough little plants."

In the weeks that followed I felt a bit silly watering the pots with dead plants in them. But I continued. Finally, one morning I spotted tiny new green leaves unfurling themselves in the pots.

Today, those little mums are flowering. I pass by their persistent blooms when I leave my home and when I return. Like me, they still carry the signs of that difficult week. And like me, they're recovering.

Each time I see them, those simple, small flowers remind me of God's promise of eternal life for those who follow Him.

2 In just a short time he will restore us, so that we may live in his
presence. 3 Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know
him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of
dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.
Hosea 6:2-3 (NLT)

One is Enough

Godspotting is Three Months old This Week
Saturday it will be three months since I began this blog. This morning I've been reflecting on the blog, thinking about why I began it and whether I'm meeting my goals. For example, I try to post two new entries each week. Looking back I see that I didn't reach that mark in August, but overall I've met that number.

But it isn't about numbers, though it's more comfortable to quantify our goals than to consider their less tangible aspects. I began to think about the harder-to-measure aspects. Is it worth it? Blogging takes time. I could devote that time instead to my family, to my church, to rest, to prayer....

I retreated back into the numbers game, looking at the Google Analytics page that tracks visitors. Those numbers are, ahem, modest. Shaking off the numbers temptation again I recalled how I feel led to write this. Now I had something of a wrestling match going on in my mind.

In the midst of this rumination I remembered an email I received from a good friend earlier this month. She wrote:

"Have had some tough times lately (well the last few years) and I read some of the things you had on your Godspot and it really helped."

Worth it? Beyond all doubt.

I will not grow weary.

31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will
soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They
will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

Looking for Him

Sharpening our Godspotting Skills
In my last post I promised that I would offer some tips for being more aware of God's presence in our lives. Today I'll suggest three good places to look: in His word, in His creation, and in conversation with Him.

Those of you who've been reading with me all along know why I think Godspotting is a worthy pursuit. I explained its value in my debut post. I also think we're never "done" learning to be aware of His hand on us. We never completely master this skill because during our earthly time, we cannot know Him completely. Consider I Corinthians 13:12:

12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will
see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and
incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me
completely.
(NLT)

Since "all that we know now is partial," as Paul put it, then we'll never achieve complete awareness of Him while we're on earth. It follows from that premise, then, that we can always become more aware.

If we're to improve our spotting skills, His word is a good place to start. If you were setting out to search for an unknown person, you would want to learn about the missing person's character and activities. The bible is our source to learn about God's goodness, omniscience, omnipotence, and unfailing love for us (His character) and about His protection, grace, mercy, and comfort (His activities). You'll also learn about His wrath, His judgment, and His jealousy--but it's good for us to remember that God is not all snowcones and lollipops. Expectations are involved in our walk with Him.

A dear friend of mine opens her bible to a page and reads the passage upon which her gaze falls. She finds God speaks to her through directing her to the scripture He wants her to contemplate. I take a structured approach: I follow a schedule to read through the bible in a year. You may use another approach altogether. How you arrange to read the bible is less important than that you read it.

Maybe you're longing to feel Him more closely in your life but reading the bible isn't making the connection for you. Remember that one reason we read is to better understand the nature of Him whom we're seeking. It also helps to spend some time looking at His creation.

Take a walk in the woods, a forest, or a city park and look at the plants, grasses, and trees. Think about the uniqueness of each leaf , twig and flower. Listen for the sounds of small animals scurrying on the ground or the variety of the birds' songs. Or go to the beach and watch the power of the waves as they crash on the beach. Consider the numbers of fish, mammals, mollusks, seaweed, and corals that the oceans hold.

A little time really focused on His creation gives us another perspective on what we're looking for when we seek Him.

Finally, talk to Him--and listen. If you're facing a challenge, ask for His guidance. If you're feeling guilty, ask for His mercy. If you're hurting, ask for His comfort. When we confess our dependence on God and our trust in Him, we're telling Him that we're ready to follow Him.

That's when He lead us. And that's when we become most aware of Him.

7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the
door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks
finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

Have you seen Him?

....Are You Looking?
Today I'm offering a gentle challenge: Be on the lookout for God! As Christians we know that His hand is on our lives. Actively seeking draws us closer to Him. But sometimes His work is subtle.

In our hurried Third Millenium lives it is easy to overlook His presence. Maybe no sea has been parted for you lately; no bush has erupted into flames before your eyes. But nothing in our lives is too small for our huge God.

It could be, if you're not feeling His presence, that you're not paying close enough attention. Consider this example:

You have an crucial meeting at work, first thing in the morning. You're prepared and eager to present your information to your team. Definitive decisions will be made based on the meeting's outcome. It's important.

But it's one of those mornings. The dog has an "accident" on the rug. Your car keys have disappeared. Your brother calls just as you find your keys...and it's not a conversation you can put off. By the time you're finally in the car, you're 15 minutes late.

And then something unusual happens. All the signal lights are green. The freeway is clear and moving at full speed. Somehow, you arrive at work on time despite all the morning's delays.

Somehow? or Godhow? We make better witnesses when we've seen something to report. Next post I'll share some techniques for looking more carefully for him.

2 It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that
the Most High God has performed for me. 3 How great are His signs, how mighty
His wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; His dominion endures from
generation to generation.
Daniel 4:2-3 (NIV)

Getting Around the Front Door

An Assist from a Two-Year-Old
This past weekend I had the pleasure of meeting my widowed father's new lady friend. Dad brought her along for an informal barbeque we had planned on Sunday with my daughter, her boyfriend, and our younger grandson Cadence.

I had been looking forward to the occasion. I didn't want my dad to be lonely; his willingness to seek new companionship signalled to me how much he had valued the 53 years of marriage that he and Mom had shared. But there loomed in my mind the problem of the front door.

My own front door had been the locus of my hardest moments after my mother died. My parents lived 600 miles away at the time of Mom's death. The distance made it easy to not focus on her absence once she passed. But after Dad returned to Southern California a few months later, I was faced with the greeting him--but not Mom--when he came to our home. Opening that door to see him standing there without my mother by his side drove home to me the reality of her death. And it hurt.

While I had thoroughly searched my heart and was comfortable that my support for Dad's dating was genuine, I was dreading Sunday's first meeting at the front door. I feared that the sight of him standing there with another woman would emphasize on a whole new level that Mom was gone. I didn't want to greet his new friend with a flood of tears. I was afraid for my own composure at an important moment.

On Sunday, Cadence had spent the afternoon here with Rich and me. His mom and her friend were returning to collect him and join us for dinner. I'd invited Dad and Sue to join us too.

While there's nothing quite like a two-year-old child to keep one from dwelling on things, that moment at the front door loomed in my mind. I so wanted to welcome Dad and Sue warmly--if I was in tears, that would be tough.

As the time for everyone's arrival approached, I busied myself preparing dinner. I shucked corn, then gathered the husks into a bag. Intending to take them to our trash can, I asked Cadence if he would like to walk with me to the edge of our property to dispose of them. A true little outdoorsman, he eagerly joined me.

Once we'd disposed of the corn husks, he said, "Lala, can we go see the train?" One of our neighbors has an impressive model train layout in his front yard; our grandsons love it. So Cadence and I trooped up the hill to look at the train.

I was standing there in my apron, holding my grandson's hand, when my dad and his friend drove down the hill. Dad stopped and we greeted each other, then they continued on to our home. Cadence and I returned on foot behind them.

The moment at the front door never came.

4 Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to
follow. 5 Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the
God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.
Psalm 25:4-5 (NLT)

Seeing Signs

A Cross in the Sky
A few weeks ago, in another blog post, I mentioned our friend, whom I'll call Elizabeth, and her son, whom I called John. I mentioned in passing that she'd faced some struggles and setbacks lately.

About a week after our evening that I mentioned in the earlier post, Elizabeth and John left everything behind to set down roots in a far-off corner of the country. We've been in touch via email since she left. Earlier this week she sent me this update:

Still going around giving resumes, getting lost on the road A LOT, and
really paying attention to God's unfailing protection. Signs everywhere
(finally!) as if I tell it all it would sound insane. This morning I got
lost again, very little gas in the car and I turned the radio ON to get some
distraction...not a surprise, on the Christian Radio, Pastor Chuck was
talking about discouragement, frustrations, and I missed the 2 first ways
that the "enemy" gets us to believe lies, but if we stay focused, we know
God is there all the time. As I am saying thank you in the middle of a
beautiful road to nowhere, I see on the sky a perfect Cross made by clouds,
those from airplanes, 2 perfect straight lines making a cross! My day got
better, I mean, I got better and there is so many other little stories
everyday, I know we will be ok.

Our threats may not be a lions' den, but He does still show Himself.

27 He rescues and saves His people; He performs miraculous signs and
wonders in the heavens and on earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions.

Daniel 6:27 (NLT)

Spotting God at Home

Grateful for a Grace-ful Marriage
(Note as of September 3: Last night when I should have been sleeping after a long first-day-back-at-work-after-vacation and fun anniversary celebration in the evening, instead I lay awake thinking about this post. I have decided that it really needs an illustrative example to flesh out the laundry list I provided yesterday. Please scroll to the bottom, just above the scripture verse, to see today's addition to this post. It's in italics.)

Today Rich and I celebrate our second wedding anniversary. It dawned on me this morning, as I was contemplating the occasion, that I see God's hand on our lives every day as we go about living our marriage.

A few examples:

• Rich meets me in calm and thoughtful discussions when we have a difference of opinion about a situation or pending decision.
• He joins me in thinking of "the kids" instead of "your kids" and "my kids." Ditto the grandchildren. And parents. And siblings.
• He leaves work at the office and makes God and family his priorities at home.
• Rich turns off the television to engage with me when I have something on my heart.
• We laugh together.
• He shares with me and sacrifices for me.
• He is my rock in times of crisis.
• He is unfailingly patient with me.

Anyone who, like me, is blessed with a godly husband, spots God and His grace every day. And on this day, I count those blessings.

Addition on September 3:

In a previous post, I wrote about Rich's direction that I should return to my ill mother's side, even though I had just spent several days with her. I mentioned that he agreed to manage our four-year-old grandson's planned visit singlehandedly so I could return, and that he took the older boy to our younger grandson's second birthday party.

Details of how that weekend and the days that followed played out illustrate the characteristics I listed here yesterday.

First, he took Friday off from work and drove to Redlands to collect Ayden, our older grandson, who had been promised a weekend at our home. Then he and Ayden came to my office to take me to the airport. Ayden was disappointed that Grandma would not be home for the planned weekend, and at four years of age he did not feel particularly constrained to keep his disappointment to himself.

When we checked my bag, the woman at the counter put a luggage tag on his wrist. Then he and Rich accompanied me to the line for the security screening. Ayden wanted to come with me. When we explained that he needed a ticket to pass that point, he pointed to the luggage tag and said, "But I have a ticket!" Despite the tugging at my heartstrings, I said my goodbyes and left Grandpa to deal with the disappointed child.

Rich and Ayden returned to the car, then Rich drove him to a point where he could watch through a chain-link fence as Grandma's plane took off.

This was the weekend that culminated in my mother's final hospitalization and the news that her death was imminent. I called home early; I called home late; I called home so tearfully that it was difficult to make out my words. Rich managed to field all those calls in a way that comforted me without distressing our grandson with his words.

On Sunday he drove to San Diego with Ayden to attend Cadence's second birthday party. The situation at my parents' home was changing by the hour and I called frequently with updates. Again, Rich managed to comfort me without destroying the festive atmosphere of a child's birthday party. He also remembered to take plenty of photos for me.

Ayden returned home from the party with his family, who had driven from Redlands to attend, and Rich headed home. He had just arrived there when we called the ambulance to transport Mom to the hospital. The phone calls from me to him continued until late at night.

Very early the next morning, I called him yet again. He asked me if I would like him to join me in Nevada. I told him, "I'm too tired to make decisions. You decide." By two P.M. on Monday, he was at Mom's bedside.

That entire weekend, Rich managed to care for Ayden, entertain him, attend Cadence's birthday party and talk with me in my despair. Then, with little sleep, he drove nine hours to be by my side at my mother's deathbed. Never once did he utter a sharp word nor complain about the frequency and timing of my calls to him.

This weekend, coincidentally, fell within two days of a tragic anniversary--the death of Ayden's father and Rich's firstborn son, Sean, in 2006. Despite his obligation to care for our grandson, my sometimes-unintelligble babble, and his own grief and pain, Rich was steadfast in his loving support at this challenging time. Then he set aside his own exhaustion to drive several hours to join me.

That's what I'm talking about.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.
He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the
cleansing of God’s word 27 He did this to present her to himself as a
glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she
will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife
actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and
cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of
his body.

Ephesians 5:25-30 (NLT)